| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2009|02:34 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ICP- chop chop slide | ] |
so i don't know why...
but i think i might start this shit up agian...
hey why not... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 15th, 2007|03:10 am] |
i think the only person who actually reads this shit is scully..
but its nice to know what someone cares...
but i think it might be easier to just talk insted of writing in this thing
whenever im depress and fuck... cause thats the only time this really happens..
and i am really not this fucking dramatic... i just have real ups and downs...
and i dont fucking broadcast what a great time im having...
so if you want to know how things are... 6105086...
ask... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 4th, 2007|01:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mindless Self Indulgence- Bring the Pain | ] |
today was good.... i guess...
my friends and i are falling apart...
apparently there was something i said to one...
i'm just really confused...
i went and got my schedule today.. hollister of all places...
i can get used to $8.95 though...
its cool that there are a few people i can actually depend on..
and a rumor or something wont change shit... cause were not nieve little kids..
i'm still looking for a car kind of... i have a truck lined up..
but it's going to need a shitload of work..
hopefully as time passes.. this will all get better..
-i'm happy i can always depend on laura.
-i'm happy i can fucking party with Andrea and Anthony.
-i'm happy that I HAVE A JOB
-i'm happy that claudia works with me.
-i'm happy that i don't feel alone.
-i'm happy that its finally my choice in my mind who i'm friends with.. and i dont feel fucked over.
-i'm happy for the new friends i've got-brett-cait-joel-jenelle-lenny
-i'm happy for the friends that have stuck with me through everything.
--It sucks that my parents suck enough fucking cock that i can't be there for my own sanity.
--it sucks that i never feel secure unless i am with my friends.
--It sucks that i have no money in my wallet(but i'm fixing this one)
--It sucks that i pay 5 fucking dollars for a pack everyday when i dont have the money.
--It also sucks that i get by on doing drugs also while i am going on BROKE AS FUCK. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2007|11:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | My Chemical Romance- To the End | ] |
so apparently i am not as secure as i used to be...
i basically had a breakdown and left speech class
then puked in the bathroom and skipped the last hours.
I feel like i'm dying... but i barely even care..
and i'm concerned because i know i should be..
not because i give a shit what-so-ever what happens.
The only reason i am here today is
due to two people.. matt and emily...
without them....
†i feel there is no reason i'm needed here at all† |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2007|12:04 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | laura's basement | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mary Magdalan- Rehab | ] |
so i haven't written in here in a long while....
and since being out of my house i've thought alot about my life...
and i really don't know if or how i can do this alone...
its been so long since i've felt safe..
and im confused feeling safe as well as completely vulnerable at the same time.
there has been no physical nor mental abuse done without my dad around..
i actually feel like i can do something with my life.. rather then just sit around and rot like a true fuck up..
School is actually going well.. i care about it for once in my life now that i am doing it for myself rather then to please my parents..
i have been clean for a while now and honestly find no reason to fall back into old habits and do any drugs.. which also scares me... because some of the people i looked up to because they didn't do those things, are now starting.. i cant support them with these decisions, nor can i be a hypocrite and say they are wrong for doing so...
my friends are the sole reason i am still here... and i love them all...
blood has absolutely nothing to do with family. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 28th, 2005|05:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Kottonmouth Kings- P-Town | ] |
Sick of lying, betraying, and backstabbing... |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2005|10:22 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Killswitch Engage | ] |
goin to cover up alchol.... then.... oh my god could I go for a bowl right now!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|07:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | UnderOath- A Boy Brushed Red Living in Black and White | ] |
you guys... FUCK today
Here is where we both go wrong
Tonight's your last chance to
Do exactly what you want to
And this could be my night
This is what makes me feel alive
Makes you feel alive
Here is where we both go wrong
So sign me up
And toss this key
'Cause for now we're
Living in this moment
And we both ignore the truth
Its all over
Its all over
I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|07:04 pm] |
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I'm nor durnk! really im not +laughs* |
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jman0919's journal